We Mourn The Passing of a Good Soul

25Feb10

Mourner’s Kaddish (prayer)

Sylvia Guberman has passed away. Shiva is Sunday.

My personal condolences to Jason and the Guberman family.

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36 Responses to “We Mourn The Passing of a Good Soul”

  1. 1 citizenkane1

    May Her soul be bound up in the bond of eternal life. Omain.

  2. 2 jezebel282

    English translation for the Mourner’s Kaddish:

    Glorified and sanctified be God’s great name throughout the world which He has created according to His will. May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon; and say, Amen.

    May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity.

    Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen.

    May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us
    and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

    He who creates peace in His celestial heights, may He create peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

  3. 3 phineast

    Amen.
    My condolences to Jason and Mattie and the rest of her family. You boys were the lights of her life. I will greatly miss her fiery spirit and her passion for doing the right thing just because it was the right thing to do. A great loss to her family and a great loss to the community. May she be blessed for eternity.

  4. 4 genuinephyllis

    Jez that was beautiful . Sylvia would have liked what you have posted. She was one incredible woman. A wonderful human being. She is no doubt with Maury the love of her life. I pray for the the peace and healing for her family and all the lives she touched…She is gone but will never be forgotten. While I will miss her in this life~
    I am certain we will meet again in a BETTER TIME, A BETTER PLACE~Phyllis Esposito

  5. 5 1george1

    I grew to like and admire Sylvia, via e-mails.

    I can not … properly express my feelings,
    except that I admired her relationship with
    Jason and many of the things we e-discussed.

    Sylvia epitomized attributes I admire in people.
    What is the female word for “mensch?”
    If mensch means what I think it means about a
    truly good and real person ….. then …

    We always ended our e-mail with “S”

    or “Shalom”

  6. 6 jezebel282

    Of the many. many things Sylvia was, loving mother, wife, grandmother, philanthropist she was what politicians and wannabe powerbrokers always refer to but never seem to truly understand. Sylvia was a Citizen.

    It is our hope that part of Sylvia’s lasting legacy will be that the next time some lawyer or politician wants to help him/herself to our money for their own benefit that they stop for a moment and wonder “What would Sylvia say?”

  7. 7 phineast

    WWSS. That is exactly it, Jez.

  8. 8 itzik3

    It’s certainly progress when the parochial/provincial town I grew up in marks my Mom’s passing by posting Kaddish to one of the town oriented blogs. I guess this is a testament to her. Unfortunately, the prejudice and bigotry she fought her entire life still exists and will not cease to exist anytime soon. Though it is refreshing to read such comments that fly in the face of the experiences we had when we first moved to Stratford and indicate a sea change between then and now. Thanks Mom!
    Jay

  9. 9 jezebel282

    Jay,

    May you be as proud of her as she was of you.

  10. 10 ewbooth

    I just heard about Sylvia’s passing. I considered her to be a friend and someone who was always willing to give advice or her opinions on things… sometimes taken, other times not. But one thing, she truly and deeply cared about stratford. She will be missed by many many people.

    -eric

  11. 11 ewbooth

    I’m not familiar with Jewish funerals….does anyone know or have an idea regarding a wake or visiting hours?

  12. 12 jezebel282

    EW,

    Burial is usually within 24 hours, but was postponed until Sunday (no burials on the Sabbath) due to weather.

    Sitting “shiva” is kinda like a wake.

    On the first day, it is customary for mourners not to eat their own food. Traditionally, the first meal, is supplied by neighbors and friends. It is customary for the mourners to sit on low stools, or even the floor, symbolic of the emotional reality of being “brought low” by the grief. Typically, mourners do not return to work until the end of the week of mourning.

    It is considered a great mitzvah (literally “commandment” but more often meaning “good deed”) of kindness and compassion to pay a home visit to the mourners. It is appropriate for visitors to talk about the deceased, sharing stories of his or her life. Some mourners use the shiva as a distraction from their loss, other mourners prefer to openly experience their grief together with friends and family; the visitor just has to be sensitive, let the mourner choose the topic of conversation.

    For more go to: http://www.jewfaq.org/death.htm

  13. 13 jezebel282

    Umm…..if you ARE going and bringing food, it is probably a good idea to skip the pork roast, bacon, sausage & peppers, lobster, shrimp…..

  14. 14 jezebel282

    Shiva is from 3-8PM on Sunday and 12-8PM on Monday at Sylvia’s house at 582 Nichols Avenue.

  15. 15 1george1

    I appreciate that eric asked the question I wanted to ask
    and that Jez answered so well.

    Sylvia and I exchanged many e-mails over many months.

    Sylvia would often repeat those memories that angered her, tell stories
    of her youth, of her fiends, and of her family.

    Her pride in Jason’s love, intelligence, accomplishments, decency, and
    devotion was a special source of joy to Sylvia.

    Peoples priorities are shown in what they wrote and talked about.
    It was precisely because Sylvia would repeat these stories so often,
    without ever changing facts or positions that proved to me she was
    who she wrote she was.

    Sylvia told me that she defended me to her friends, especially as
    they relate to blog posts. I had every reason to believe her, and
    we discussed a few issues, where I had a chance to explain things
    or put them in contect.

    I was astonished to read her belief that there were Jews in pre-Nazi
    Germany that helped Hitler come to power. I share the view, yet I
    mitigate it in that many could have been misled by the N.A.Z.I. acronym
    as it created an illusional bond to those who identified themselves as
    AshkeNAZIm.

    Sylvia was fearful of Obama and his positions well before the election.
    I pointed out the key positions of David Axlrod and Rahm Emanual (who
    had served in the Israeli Army) I told Sylvia that I often watched PBS
    Charlie Rose, who has hosted the 3 exceptional Emanual brothers on
    his program, and presents many leaders in interviews.

    Although Sylvia was conservative she was stunned when I told her that
    Charlie Rose interview of 3 Movie executives stated that Dick Cheney
    was “1/2 Jewish.”

    Sylvia was a great hearted social liberal, who grew to believe the
    Democratic party betrayed their principles and held down people,
    and moved to being a Conservative (in a good way) Republican.
    We argued (in a respectful way) about the merits and lack of merits
    of both the Republicans and Democrats.

    I was surprized to know (and it was independently confirmed) that
    Sylvia knew and knew well Martin Luther King Jr., Bill and Hillary
    Clinton and many, many others. Sylvia was an interesting people
    who led an interesting life.

    Sylvia would include me in e-mails to her friends. They included Lou
    DeCilio and Mike Imbro, with whom we had some disagreement and
    argued about along political lines of those and others. We argued
    some, but agreed often and accepted each other for who were are
    and what we believed,

    Sylvia would e-mail me things about her great pride and love of Israel
    and some of Jason’s work.

    Sylvia also sent e-mails and pictures of the holocaust, which pain me
    to view and respect me positions ceasing to send those.

    I have a particular jewish friend and former co-worker who would send
    me wide ranges of e-mails which I rarely forwarded.

    However, like Sylvia, his pride in being Jewish and he and his friends
    who sent e-mail had great senses of humor and outrage and beauty.

    Sylvia was particulary fond of the Jewish jokes and antedotes I was
    sent and forwarded to her.

    Sylvia was a loving, decent person. I have few regrets in life.
    One regret is that because of her illness I was unable to join
    her for tea, when it was convenient for Sylvia.

    As I typed this blog, praising a very, very nice Sylvia Guberman,
    there may be typos, because of the tears

    Of all the things Jezebel ever wrote
    I will NEVER AGREE MORE than this perfect portrayal of Sylvia and the
    specific references simply to Sylvia the person:

    Of the many. many things Sylvia was, loving mother, wife, grandmother, philanthropist

    she was what politicians and wannabe powerbrokers
    always refer to but never seem to truly understand.

    Sylvia was a Citizen.

    It is our hope that part of Sylvia’s lasting legacy will be that the next
    time some lawyer or politician wants to help him/herself to our money
    for their own benefit that they stop for a moment and wonder

    “What would Sylvia say?”

  16. 16 1george1

    Shalom, Sylvia,
    Shalom

  17. 17 nomoreyears

    Very sad day for Stratford. Sylvia spoke her mind and told it like it was. She was honest and forthright. I cannot even fathom what Stratford would have been like without Sylvia Guberman. She will be missed.

  18. 18 pcsperling

    I certainly was shocked to learn of Sylvia’s passing. Stratford’s loss is heaven’s gain!

    I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to know her, talk to her and to rally with her! What a wise woman she was and oh, how she loved her family. She was so proud of her grandson, as he no doubt knows.

    She fought hard for what she believed in, and she was a wealth of knowledge and information.

    Sylvia is definitely an unforgettable part of Stratford’s history!

  19. 19 tommurray13

    I have known Sylvia or as I called her “Mrs. G.” for most of my life. She was a dear friend of the family and as of late a dear and loyal friend of mine. She was a deeply caring wife, mother, grandmother and friend.

    The thing I admired most about “Mrs G.” is the way she always kept watch on those around her; as well as her neighborhood, her town, her state and her country.

    Heaven now has another guardian angel, because if I know Sylvia she is still watching over us all with those vigilant eyes. May God bless her and the entire Guberman family, my sincerest sympathy.

  20. 20 jezebel282

    Reminder:

    Shiva is on Sunday from 3-8PM and Monday from 12-8PM. Sylvia’s house at 582 Nichols Avenue.

  21. 21 starlooker

    We lost a wonderful person. She made me a beautiful scarf that I have been wearing.

    To Sylvia:
    May the road rise to meet you – May the wind be always at your back – May the sun shine warm upon your face – May the rains fall soft upon your fields – and until we meet again – May the Lord hold you in the palm of His hand.

    With Admiration
    Karen Murphy

  22. 22 1george1

    Syl,

    I voted for you today.

    Neither you nor I like, nor respect, the Mill River Country club,
    nor the Miron – Burturla crew.

    Syl, you never ran for office.
    You never held office.
    I had the privledge of exchanging emails with you for maybe 2 years.
    Syl, we didn’t have to agree on every person or policy.
    That was not important.
    What was important, was your uncommon sense of humanity and decency.

    Syl, I voted for you today.
    The machine would not take the vote, initially, because neither slot was
    colored in, for Mill River country club or Mirons’ – Burturlas’ proxies.

    Syl, they had to open a side door in the voting machine at Stratford HS.
    I was vote # 374.

    Syl, I would have preferred to put your vote through the front door.
    However, I think you would have smiled about making the vote monitor
    open a side door ….. just for you ……

    I will miss a fellow trouble maker …
    Rest in peace and you deserve eternal happiness with your precious
    Maury ……

    Shalom, my friend, Shalom.

  23. 23 1george1

    Sylvia had e-mailed me of Bill Clinton visiting her home often.
    Sylvia had high praise for Bill Clinton.

    I suspect Sylvia would be thrilled with the pictures of Chelsea
    who is glowing in her wedding pictures.

    I suspect Sylvia would be happy Chelsea married a jewish man.
    (I wish his eyes were smiling (more), from the few pictures shown)

    I suspect Sylvia is smiling in Heaven, for her friend Bill Clinton!

    Sylvia had felt Obama was anti-Semetic, because of some of the
    press and situations prior to the elections.
    – I pointed out David Axlrod is jewish and Rahm Emanual is jewish
    and served in the Israeli Defense Force.
    – I pointed out that in politics, often there have to be created
    “appearances,” much like in Stratford.

    I respected Sylvia, because despite her love for Israel and her jewish
    heritage, Sylvia was fair relating to other people and peoples, and wise
    in that sometimes things being too onesided is not a good thing.

    That is the extent of what I will write and do not want to put words
    into the mouth or another person, especially one who is deceased
    and who I grew to like and respect, despite many differences of opinions.
    > Our ways and means often differed.
    > Our view of certain people often differed. Sylvia wished you knew some
    things years ago and would have liked to have helped. Que sera …
    > I believe Sylvia had honest political beliefs for the general good.

    Whatever my views on the body politics, this would have been a good week
    end for Sylvia, because of her friend’s happiness.
    My entire intent in posting this is in rememberence of Sylvia. Shalom.

  24. 24 1george1

    A jewish friend / former coworker, sends me e-mails that range
    from raunchy to religeous, and many that are funny.

    When they involved appropriate Yiddish humor, I would forward
    to Sylvia.

    The following was sent to me before sunset and I forwarded it to
    several jewish friends … including Jezebel.

    I extend this e-mail in Sylvia’s memory on her post as i suspect that
    she would have enjoyed it. SHALOM!


    Shema Yisrael, Adonai Elohenu, Adonai Echad!

    A Healthy and Happy New Year to you and yours.


    WET
    PANTS

    Come with me to a third grade classroom…….
    There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and
    all of a sudden, there is a puddle between
    his feet and the front of his pants are wet.
    He thinks his heart is going to stop because he
    cannot possibly imagine how this has happened.
    It’s never happened before, and he knows that
    when the boys find out he will never hear the
    end of it.
    When the girls find out, they’ll never speak to
    him again as long as he lives…

    The boy believes his heart is going to stop;
    he puts his head down and prays this prayer,
    ‘Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now!
    Five minutes from now I’m dead meat.’

    He looks up from his prayer and here comes the
    teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has
    been discovered.

    As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate
    named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled
    with water.. Susie trips in front of the teacher and
    inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy’s lap.

    The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is
    saying to himself, ‘Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!’

    Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of
    ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy.
    The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym
    shorts to put on while his pants dry out.
    All the other children are on their hands and knees
    cleaning up around his desk.
    The sympathy is wonderful .
    But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his
    has been transferred to someone else – Susie.

    She tries to help, but they tell her to get out.
    You’ve done enough, you klutz!’

    Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for
    the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers,
    ‘You did that on purpose, didn’t you?’
    Susie whispers back, ‘I wet my pants once too…’

    May God help us see the opportunities that are always
    around us to do good…

    Remember…….Just going to the synagogue
    (or to church or to a mosque)
    doesn’t make you holy
    any more than standing in your garage
    makes you a car..

    Each and everyone one of us has gone through tough
    times at one point or another.
    Always keep the faith.
    Faith will brighten your days, no matter what your religion.

    Shema Yisrael, Adonai Elohenu, Adonai Echad!

    My instructions were to pick people that I wanted to have
    an inspirational message as we reflect on the year past,
    ask to be absolved of our sins, repent, pray, and act charitably.

    I picked you…. Please pass this to people you wantto be blessed.
    This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive.
    There is no cost but a lot of rewards.
    Let’s continue to pray for one another.

    The Prayer:

    Adonai, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and those that
    I care deeply for, who are reading this right now.
    Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy.
    Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence
    through Your grace.
    Where there is need, I ask you to fulfill their needs.
    Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings…

    Amen.

    HAPPY NEW YEAR!

  25. 25 1george1

    Condolences to Jeze.

  26. 26 jezebel282

    Update:

    Incredibly, Linda Palermo (Republican Primary Candidate for the 5th District) filed suit on September 7th, 2011 against Sylvia Guberman’s estate and Lou Decillio, Republican Registrar of Voters, for defamation and tortious interference for an incident that allegedly occurred on September 15, 2009.

    It should be noted that Sylvia passed away on 24 February, 2010. It will be of great interest how Ms. Palermo will compel Sylvia to appear and defend herself against the charges.

    In any event, our choice for the primary vote tomorrow for the 5th District is Jack Dempsey.

  27. 27 1george1

    Tortious interference? Defamation?

  28. 28 mikereynolds

    Who IS this woman? She sounds like another know it all. Stratford seems to be inundated with these kinds of people.

  29. 30 mikereynolds

    Wow…she’s got a lot of time on her hands. Motion after motion.

  30. 31 1george1

    Let deceased R. I. P.

  31. 32 theantimiron

    “That the triumphing of the wicked is short, and the joy of the hypocrite but for a moment?” (Job 20:5).

    Or is it? The wicked and hypocritical (aka MIRONISTAS) are literally running for office in the 4th and 5th districts today. The slobbering Miron sycophant Jason Santi deserves to be defeated by Michael Singh, who has for several years been offering a positive anti-Miron alternative for Democrats in the 4th.

    Stratford Republicans in the 5th have an even easier choice between their current councilman John Dempsey and the vexatious ex-vamp Linda Palermo. Dick and Jimmy have always been able to count on their favorite hag to do the dirty deeds even the lowlife Mirons found too distasteful!

    It is a shame to sully Syl’s thread with this topic. But Syl, a good soul, was never one to tolerate an injustice. She might just like how some of us won’t give Palermo the satisfaction of hearing the fearful or complacent silence that she so thrives on. It speaks volumes that Palermo bided her time to file a posthumous lawsuit against Syl. I just hope that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree when it comes to the defendants. They should hold Palermo accountable in the courts for her gross abuse of the justice system.

    Since we don’t have a good full-time reporter in town anymore, I think I’ll just focus on providing some context for Mike and others who are just now waking up to the nightmare that is Linda Palermo.

    Reading the Star this past week, you might get the wrong impression about her. With lines like “Palermo has served on the Housing Commission, Cable Advisory Commission and Recycling Committee” and her nice sounding quotes, Palermo sounds, if not exactly human, then at least electable.
    http://stratfordstar.com/news/70410.html

    “’The knowledge and experience I gained at those meeting equipped motivated my working closely with the Stratford Police Department in regard to safety matters and was instrumental in implementing and headed up Safety and Crime Watch at Stonybrook,’ she said.”

    Here is where the wheels go off the crazy train.

    By “my working closely with the Stratford Police Department” Palermo means incessantly claiming that the police are going to arrest her, falsely claiming and suing the police for supposedly abusing her for one of the times they mercifully took her off the streets, and wasting the police department’s time and our tax money chasing after, among other things, balloons. I’m not kidding! You would think someone so afraid of getting arrested might want to stay away from the police station, but Palermo frequents, calls and writes the police often to prod action on her endless serious of false complaints that are said to number well over a hundred.

    “’My interest has always been in law… Palermo said.” Her interest with the law begins and ends with someone getting sued as well as calling herself a practicing “pro se” for over 20 years.

    “I pride my reputation for supporting conservative American values, the working class, senior citizens; persons with disabilities and has strong family values.” You can’t make this stuff up! Palermo is a moocher who has made suing a career. Without legal fees or a life apart from trying to ruin the lives of others, the method to her madness is to delay and confound until the defendant believes paying her blood ransom can free them of the ordeal. Awarding bad behavior only enlarges her false sense of power and entitlement.

    Surprising to see her mention seniors or the disabled. Palermo backed the Mirons when they took 68 disabled and ill senior citizens in the 5th district to court for merely exercising their given right to vote by absentee ballot.

    Almost forgot “family values.” The Adams Family has better family values than Palermo and the Mirons. Her arrests in ’86 stem from refusing to leave the home of her boyfriend and then accusing the arresting officers of having violated her civil rights with their non-existent brutality.

    “For 39 years she has lived in the Stonybrook Garden Co-op, and is a longtime member of the board, having served as vice president.” The Star’s readers might like to know that Palermo sued the Co-op for paying for the driveway she at first demanded and then promptly used as exhibit a against the Co-op in a lawsuit.

    “I share the publics concerns about high taxes, improving public Service and town services. If elected my mission is to continue to selflessly work for the good of the people of Stratford.” Then maybe she could put her ill-gotten money where her forked tongue resides and cough up a hefty reimbursement to Stratford taxpayers for all the hours of police and other town employees’ time and resources that she has wasted over the years. After that, she can start making restitution to Connecticut taxpayers for the judiciary’s time and resources, and for the court filing fees that she has avoided paying under false pretenses for years.

    Palermo’s “selfless work for the good of the people of Stratford” involves taxpayers covering more of her spite tab. Unlike “pro se,” Palermo must have researched what “indemnify” means or learned by ex-mayor Moron’s example. Stratford taxpayers are still liable to protect him from ever paying for his mistakes in office. Two years out of it and there is no end in sight.

    “She has frequently spoken at Town Council meetings.” President Obama has frequently spoken about job. Since speaking frequently is seldom a virtue, I should mention at least one example of what Palermo is talking about at all these meetings. Her most infamous council chamber performance involved accusing a respected councilman of having an affair with her that involved a mafia conspiracy. Don’t they all?

    Remember Stratford voters and taxpayers when Palermo sues, taxpayers lose!

  32. 33 jezebel282

    Mike,

    “Who IS this woman?”

    Did “theantimiron” answer your question?

  33. 34 mikereynolds

    Yeah thanks. She’s a real winner.

  34. 35 jezebel282

    Antimiron,

    “It is a shame to sully Syl’s thread with this topic.”

    You are correct. The reason this latest (disgusting) event was posted here was to give some perspective of the “quality” of this vindictive and malicious lawsuit. The plaintiff in this suit has a reputation that matches Miron’s; power through intimidation and fear.

    What kind of judgement does this illustrate when you file a defamation suit against someone who has been deceased for over a year for an “offense” that occurred three years ago? It is not likely you will ever receive an apology or retraction. Nor is it likely that you would receive sworn testimony from the defendant.

    Nonetheless, what I had posted a year and a half ago remains as true now as it did then:

    “Of the many. many things Sylvia was, loving mother, wife, grandmother, philanthropist she was what politicians and wannabe powerbrokers always refer to but never seem to truly understand. Sylvia was a Citizen.”

  35. 36 1george1

    I thought about Sylvia and wondered what she would think
    about the myriad of things which are Stratford politics and
    about all of the pretenders and misdirection?

    I concur with Jezebel’s above tribute.


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